Who doesn’t want to be seen as a high performing professional that is effective, assertive, and extremely productive? I bet everyone would love to be admired as such. But, more than that, everyone would love to really BE precisely that, regardless of whether people can see it or not.
Let’s start from the start. Usually, when we are developing ourselves and our careers, we form a particular image of ourselves. Sometimes it is an accurate image. Sometimes it is not. Then comes that manager with that new 360° trait or personality assessment and crashes all our views about ourselves. We learn how people at work see us. We might find some things amusing and others completely outrageous. Along the years, we get better in knowing how people see us.
Truth be told, we want people to see us in a specific way. Say you are working to become an exquisite and excellent communicator. You don’t want people to say that “you articulate things just fine.” You want people saying you are a superb communicator.
If you have a growth (or mastery) mindset, you might tell yourself that this is just a gauge of how well you are doing, and it merely means you have to work harder and make more significant progress. If you have a performance mindset, you might get really upset and beat yourself up for days since you fail to perform to your liking (i.e., what you expected to hear from others).
What is self-worth? Do you worth yourself as a good communicator or not? What is the real measure to say you are, in fact, a good communicator? Humans usually depend on social proof to attribute their worth or “price point.” Since childhood, we look for social validation, as we know “more followers” means more opportunities.
However, we grow up and end up depending on social proof to have any self-worth. And not just any social proof. The ones that we want to hear about. We want specific adjectives validated.
I remember when I was early in my career, I wanted to hear I was an excellent analyst. I craved for that. I worked so hard, and I studied a lot. And I would listen to many amusing feedbacks like “you have a radiating smile” or “you get so much done, how do you do it?” and so on. Where is my freaking “you are an awesome analyst?” I didn’t care about the smile!
Why people dismiss so quickly some compliments and crave so much for others? I knew quite well that I had a beautiful smile and that I am the go-getter type that gets things done fast and furiously. I didn’t need any social proof to know that. My self worth attribution on those categories were already set and well established. I needed social proof on things I was not yet so sure about and still working on.
That happens to most people. In other words, we are not truly seeking social proof of our accomplishments. When we accomplish things, they are transparent enough; they speak for themselves. What we really want is a validation of our progress. If people start complimenting us about the things we are working on, it means we are getting there. It means we are close. We confound that with the result.
Productivity is a ratio of a measure of total outputs to a measure of inputs used in the production of something. That’s an easy formula for concrete things, but it becomes more complicated when it comes to more abstract ideas. How can you measure an exquisite communicator? That’s when we validate our progress through social proof. Way easier than defining a measure, huh?
I once met an individual who had so much mild feedback about his presentations (although he put so much time and effort) that he started to develop more and more fear to present. His productivity in presentations and meetings was declining, his motivation was in pieces, to the point that he simply decided to change careers. “I am not cut for this.”
What’s interesting is that this person was the best trainer in his field. Everyone loved his training. Was he considered an exquisite communicator? Not really, but he was considered a stellar trainer. He gave all that up and went out of the grid completely. Being a good trainer was for him what a beautiful smile was for me.
Do you know another name for productivity on abstract ideas? Performance. As with any productivity measure, performance has to have a clear and specific measure, to keep you motivated and focused. Social proof can be included in your measure of success and progress. But it should not be the only one. Because if it is, you can be derailed very easily.
KPI (Key Performance Indicators) are usually created for more concrete items in a project or process, but should also be used for abstract measures as well. They must be measurable, actionable, aligned with your stakeholders, among other things. And then, you have to track your progress. There are always creative ways to build measures for abstract ideas.
The point I want to make for today is that we usually confuse results with progress. We beat ourselves up. And we do so because we don’t have a clear picture in our minds of what our measure of success and progress is. We, instead, rely solely on social proof. And then, we miss some pearls that can be powerful in our journey of growth.
Mind you that my smile is a quite supporting asset in making strong rapport, and my go-getter techniques are helping hundreds of people become more productive through my teachings. Imagine if I just went off the grid and didn’t use any of these assets? What a pity that would be. What a pity it was to lose that trainer. I’m sure he made a difference to a lot of people he trained.
Self-worth comes from within. You can become more productive when you use all your worth in your favor. New things you are adding to self-worth must be evaluated as such – and within its stage in the learning curve. Be fair with yourself and others. I like to make this hilarious joke: “if it takes 40 minutes to cook a turkey thoroughly, you cannot expect to have it well-cooked after 20 minutes.” Be fair and judge yourself (and others) in the stage they are in.
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